Monthly Archives: May 2014


I had a little anxiety attack in the bus to work just now. I realized how difficult it was to get a visa to be with Tom. More tedious than difficult but it’s sort of the same thing really, isn’t it? It seems like the easiest thing to do now is to just get married. It’s a scary thought, getting married. It’s scary enough getting married but to get married just to get a visa…that’s on a whole different level of scary. Dear Singapore, why don’t you have stronger ties with the UK? Dear Queen of England, why do you have to impose such strict immigration laws? Dear Universe, why are you doing this to me?

I’ve looked through websites, forums, I’ve called up embassies, trying to get some sort of help, or guidance as to how I could get into the UK without having to sneak around and be an illegal immigrant. It’s been 4 months since I last saw Tom, and it sickens me thinking about how much longer I have to be without him. It’s frustrating, it’s depressing and just plain tiring having to do all these. Many would say “why did you have to go and fall in love with someone who lives halfway across the world?” Well, excuse me, I’m sorry, I should definitely have taken into consideration the fact that he lives in another continent before I decided “yeah, okay, I’ll fall in love with you” -.-

I didn’t think that this personal issue would land itself on a page on the Internet but it has. It’s my way of saying “here, now that you know what I’m going through, I guess this is our problem now, so let’s deal with it together!” I really don’t know what to do anymore. I could just try and get a visa and see what happens but to start on the whole process…urgh.

And the fact that Tom has to be fucking earning at least £19,000 a year…WHO FUCKING EARNS THAT MUCH IN A YEAR ANYWAY?! THE BLOODY PRESIDENT THAT’S WHO! -.- That’s like $40,000! Okay, I’m gonna go die quietly in a hole somewhere, cause I just can’t right now. My ability to ‘can’ is currently not present and I will not drive myself into another panic because I’m at work and my boss might think I’m crazy so no, we will not talk about this until a later date.

Maybe I’ll be married by then…LOL! No.



It’s frustrating being an adult. Besides having to earn your own keep and having to actually be responsible, you actually have to take care of yourself and ensure that you don’t die before you’re supposed to. You have to see a doctor when you’re sick, find food when you’re hungry, and sometimes, when the occasion calls for it, pay $453 for a dentist to have a look inside your mouth.

I did that. I paid $453 to see a dentist because I want to keep my teeth for as long as I possibly can. I had 6 fillings in and that amounted to $453, inclusive of 7% GST and $10 for “sterilization and disposals” – what the hell is that even? Would I not have been charged $10 more if I had told her “no, thank you, I’ll not go for the sterilized equipment”?

Everything now sounds like ‘responsibility’. I want to have no part in any of these.